Sterile Corporate Monolith Stellantis Fails At Failing, Sales Decline

They are sterile, they are monosyllabic-monolithic, and ponderous. And now they can add shambolic to their list of meager achievements. We can only be talking about Stellantis, the anime equivalent of a giant anime mecha robot (a gigantic robot made up of many other robots). But it is sterile corporate monolith Stellantis that has become the cartoon of late. November sales in the UK plunged out of the sky like firey pumas being ejected from an exploding volcano. Stellantis is on fire right now and a comedy of errors and excuses can not hide the fact that in the same period rival car manufacturers returned to near-normal levels of pre-pandemic sales.

So what has gone wrong for Mecha Stellantis in the UK? Peugeot suffered a decline in sales of 50 percent, Citroen sales declined 13 percent and Vauxhall was down by 6 percent. How did it go so wrong for Mecha Stellantis in the UK during November? Mecha Stellantis wasn’t short of excuses. Severing its relationship with logistics company Gefco didn’t help.

Gefco was once under ownership by Peugeot, but Mecha Stellantis had other ideas and told Peugeot to get rid of Gefco or suffer the consequences of being cast to one side. Mecha Stellantis’ customer tracking database has gone haywire and resulted in countless “lost cars” according to various industry reporting. Mecha Stellantis also blamed the ongoing pandemic (sounds like Mike Arnold), Ukraine, supply chain issues in Europe/China and an invasion of heavily armed phantom penguins.

Mecha Stellantis blamed everything and anyone but their own ineptitude. But their customers know who is to blame… Mecha Stellantis. We can’t wait for the next installment of Mecha Stellantis and the continuous Search for Failed Excuses.